In last week’s post, we covered what you should do to make yourself memorable on a day-to-day basis. But let’s say you want to be remembered on a more grand scale. You want your name in the history books; you want school-age children writing essays about you; you want an entry on Wikipedia.
My, but we do have an ego.
Well, never fear. As I said before, we run a full-service blog at Feeding on Folly. Here are some quick and easy tips for how you — ordinary you — can become unforgettable to the world at large.
- Get Burned at the Stake — The history books are full of people who were charred to bits for their beliefs. Or lack of beliefs. Or writing down their beliefs. Well, gosh, just about anything and they might find a torch grazing their ankles. Oh, sure, I know what you’re thinking — there are very few public burnings going on nowadays. But you just haven’t been looking hard enough. I’m sure it’s happening somewhere. And lest you doubt the surety of this plan, think of Joan of Arc. You know of her, right? Can you name the guard who lit the first branch under her? Neither can I. See what I mean? But if getting burned alive isn’t really your thing, you can always try this:
- Run Naked Through the Woods — Ever hear of Giovanni di Pietro di Bernardone? Born into a fairly well-off family, Giovanni enjoyed life a great deal until suddenly he didn’t anymore. At that point, he began giving away all his possessions, most of which came from his father. This pissed off dad, which can happen, so his father told him to either straighten up or he’d be cut off without a cent. At which point, in a public place, mind you, Giovanni broke off all relations with his father, returned all his clothing to him, including the ones he was wearing at the time, and ran off gleefully into the woods. Giovanni came to be known as St. Francis of Assisi. You may have a little statue of him in your garden. Heck, one day someone might have a statue of you in their garden. So go ahead — go run naked. It’s worth a shot.
- Start a Revolution — If the naked thing isn’t working out for you and the YouTube video your neighbor uploaded has yet to go viral, you might want to try gathering up a few malcontents and staging a revolution. Granted, you may need to write a book or publish a few manifestos to get it off the ground, but listen, if Lenin could do it, why not you? Although perhaps you live in a stable government and have no real qualms against it. Well, good for you. Not good for you in your quest of being a revolutionary hero, however. Even so, don’t give up hope! There’s always this:
- Be a Voice for Freedom, Innovation, Courage, and Other Good Stuff Like That There — If you think back on your fun-filled days spent in your high school history class, and the few times you were actually paying attention, I bet you can remember reading about some really cool people. People who invented things, protested against injustices, people who pushed boundaries or demanded change. Conspicuously absent from our history books are stories about the people who cried out in favor of the status quo. There are no pictures of protesters with signs reading, “We’re Fine With Things the Way They Are” or, “Can’t We All Go Home and Take a Nap?” or, “All We Are Saying is Give Blind Obedience a Chance.”
So, the next time someone at your workplace, school, house of worship, grocery store, what-have-you, has an idea for a great new way of doing things or a cause they want to support, think twice before saying, “But it’s never been done that way before!” You have your legacy to think of, dear reader. Support the underdog, stand up for the downtrodden. Be a champion for a brave new world.
If nothing else, I promise I’ll write a blog post about you. Up to 700 words, with pictures if you send them.
Nude photos perfectly permissible.
To inspire you on your road to greatness, here’s a recipe for some lovely brownies to take to your next protest or sit-in. They’re sure to impress friends and might even grant you high status among your fellow do-gooders.
Power to the People Brownies
- 4 ounces unsweetened baking chocolate
- 2/3 cup butter
- 1/2 cup red wine (if you’d rather drink the wine, you can substitute 1/2 cup strong coffee)
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 1 cup white sugar
- 3 eggs, beaten slightly
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 1/3 cups flour
- 1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)
Heat oven to 350 degrees and butter a 13×9 inch baking pan.
In a large bowl, microwave butter and chocolate for one minute on high, stir well. Microwave for another minute, or until chocolate is completely melted. Add wine and baking soda, stir well (batter will bubble and thicken slightly). Add sugars, eggs and vanilla, stirring well after each addition. Stir in remaining ingredients. Pour batter into prepared pan.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until brownies begin to pull away from the sides of pan. Cool in pan on a wire rack before cutting into squares.
P.S. It was pointed out to me that tomorrow, July 9, kicks off this year’s Nude Recreation Week. I honestly didn’t know there was such a thing. If you want to give it a shot, here’s a link to learn more. Have fun.